Consider the Lilies: The Birth of Anna Lily
Consider the lilies how they grow : they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Luke 12:27
Oh, where to begin! As with my other two birth stories, I feel they really "began" at the beginning of the pregnancy. However, I feel that Anna's story may begin much earlier- before she was even conceived.
If you've read Caleb's birth story, then you know his birth was a "failed" homebirth attempt with a transfer to the hospital, but a successful (if not ideal) VBAC. Though I had given birth to him, pushed him into this world with my own strength, I felt that his birth resembled too closely my c-section. I couldn't feel him emerge from my body (epidural), he was "clean" and tightly wrapped by the time I got to hold him, I was drugged and hooked up to all sorts of machines, and had a significant number of stitches (from a nasty second degree tear).
At first I was simply elated to have had a VBAC. However, as I began to recover and the realities of Caleb's birth set in, I began to feel restless. I felt "cheated", somehow, and desperately wanted a do-over. Instead of seeking the Lord's timing for the birth of a new baby, I sought my own timing and conceived a child just four months after giving birth. How wonderful, I thought, to be given another child so soon! This new baby, we called him "baby Mac", was not meant to stay with us though. I lost baby Mac 8 weeks into my pregnancy, just a few days before Mother's Day.
It took my body a long time to recover from losing the baby. It took my heart even longer. The way things were, I didn't think I was able to conceive children anymore. My husband and I decided that our family was probably complete and we quit trying to conceive by our own "works". The Lord had His own plans though, and Miss Anna came into our lives quite unexpectedly.
Shortly before I became pregnant with Anna, my husband and I moved from Florida to Georgia. When I discovered our wonderful surprise baby I began looking into my birth options in the area. Sadly (and shamefully)I found that to have a homebirth with a midwife I'd have to do it "illegally", and none of the midwives I spoke with felt comfortable attending a birth with me. I also found that some of the hospitals had VBAC bans, most of the obstetricians in the area no longer attended VBACs, and those that would theoretically attend a VBAC only delivered at hospitals with VBAC bans. My "choices" (and what kind of choice is it, really, when it's forced upon you?)became to sign up for a repeat cesarean (even though I'd already HAD a VBAC!), enter into care with an OB and show up at the hospital and refuse a cesarean (who wants to fight when they're in labor?), or have an unassisted birth.
I didn't like any of the choices, so my husband and I decided that the children and I would move back to Florida for the duration of the pregnancy and seek out our options there. We ended up deciding on a hospital birth with a Certified Nurse Midwife. I still wasn't comfortable with the idea of giving birth in the hospital. Afterall, if Caleb's birth had begun in the hospital I never would have had a VBAC. Hospitals just don't "do" the kind of labor I had with Caleb. My husband prayed with me throughout my pregnancy, though, that the Lord would protect me through the labor and birth. We even read a book that was recommend to us about painless childbirth, and so we were trusting the Lord for that as well.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Consider the Lilies: The Birth of Anna Lily Part One
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Two Weeks Already?
Wow, I can't believe it's been two weeks since I gave birth to Anna Lily. She's two weeks old already? I'm so proud that she hasn't had any formula in her (entire) life, no bottles or artificial nipples of any kind. That's a huge triumph for us!
She was also born too big for the newborn size diapers and too big for Sarah and Caleb's old preemie and newborn size clothing. That amazes my husband and me. Anna Lily is such a sweet little baby.
People ask me if she "fusses" a lot and I tell them I don't really know, because if she ever seems less than happy I just put her to the breast. Of course, everyone tells me I'm nursing her too much and that she's too dependant on me. Really? A newborn who is dependent on its mother?
She also makes nighttime parenting a breeze! She nurses around 10:30pm, then sleeps until sometime in the midnight hour, and then sleeps until sometime between 3-4 a.m. Neither of us wakes fully for her nighttime feeds and we sleep together, facing each other, so she can nurse while I lie down. How easy is that?? Thanks "baby Anna Lily"!
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Anna Lily is here!
Hi everybody!! Yes, Anna Lily is here :) She was born at 4:49 a.m. this morning after a very short 1 hour 49 minute labor with 4 minutes of pushing. I finally had a completely unmedicated delivery. When I arrived at the hospital I didn't even think I was in labor, but when the nurse checked me I was already 7cm. Then there was a flurry of activity, with everyone rushing around getting ready for Anna. My 4yo daughter was present for the birth and was mildly unimpressed. She wanted to help "catch" Anna and they got her some small gloves so she could, but she changed her mind at the last minute and was content to just stand at the "business end" and watch.
Anna weighed nearly 8lbs. What a triumph and blessing! Remember my other children's birthweights? 3.10 and 5.2! I pushed (roared, more like it) on my hands and knees. I had no idea that the so-called "urge to push" was actually a freight train running through your body that doesn't give you a CHOICE about whether or not to push. I was told several times not to push, which seemed at the time like the most absurd request I'd ever heard. There was no stopping and starting. My body owned the process and I was just along for the ride.
It truly was amazing! Labor didn't hurt, pushing was lots of pain. I really don't even feel like I've just had a baby. Oh, and she's an amazing little nursling!
